Parenting. [updated with more gratitude and less feeling-sorry-for-myself]

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 02/11/2019 at 09:51 • Filed to: parenting

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When I say to people that having kids was the hardest thing I’d ever done, it’s hard to explain. It’s stuff like this:

[ shortly after publishing this, I learned that an acquaintance recently lost her oldest daughter over the weekend in a snowmobiling accident. Her daughter was pregnant. I cannot fathom the feeling of sorrow and loss this would cause and I would like to express to the universe my gratitude for my healthy children who keep me up at night]

I was up late doing things for my coaching job. 11:15 one of the kids gets up to pee. Tuck him back in, fine. I go to be at 11:25. Almost asleep, he calls for us. I go in, he wants his closet door opened slightly (we leave an led light on in the closet and crack the door for a little bit of night light). Back to bed, almost asleep again. He calls. Drink of water. Almost asleep again, it’s now 12:10. He calls again. I don’t even know what it was he wanted. I almost cried.

I finally fell asleep sometime around 12:30. 5:30, my alarm goes off. But it’s downstairs because I forgot to bring my phone up to the bedside table last night. My wife graciously went down and got it for me, but now we’re both awake because of trying to figure out what the alarm noise was and why it was so far away.

Kid wakes up after being sick over the weekend, we figured he’d rally today considering he went skiing yesterday... “I don’t feel good.”

I love them dearly and I am grateful for their continued health and unbelievable growth.

Rally 911 for your ti me.

MrDakka > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 10:05

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Pretty sure parenting is basically this

ttyymmnn > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 10:05

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I’ve got two 11-year-olds and a 16-year-old. Parenting never gets easier or harder. It just gets different.

But if you want to experience near-death-levels of sleep deprivation, have twins. I’m not sure how my wife and I survived the first few weeks.

ttyymmnn > MrDakka 02/11/2019 at 10:12

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I once asked a friend, “What was I thinking when I decided to have kids?” He replied, “You know exactly what you were thinking.”

MoCamino > ttyymmnn 02/11/2019 at 10:34

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Definitely just goes through different seasons. Ours are 17 and 26. The older one was extremely high effort when he was younger, and we’d decided one was enough. God decided we had too much free time so we were blessed with the second. She’s been really easy in comparison, but like any kid still presents challenges.

The crappy part is now that our kids are older, it’s not them waking up multiple times in the night for a trip to the bathroom....it’s me. :(

ttyymmnn > MoCamino 02/11/2019 at 10:37

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it’s not them waking up multiple times in the night for a trip to the bathroom....it’s me. :(

No really, I’m laughing with you.

functionoverfashion > ttyymmnn 02/11/2019 at 10:56

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I really can’t imagine twins, like some friends of ours who had a 2-yr-old boy and then had twin boys. That was something else.

Also, see my update to the original post. I retract my complaint and wish to express only gratitude that my kids are happy and healthy.

functionoverfashion > MrDakka 02/11/2019 at 10:58

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haha, when my father said “it changes everything” I don’t think there’s any way to actually understand what that means, “Everything.” I was also thinking though, that it would change my life more if something were to ever happen to them, and that makes me realize how lucky I am at the moment.

and 100 more > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 11:04

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I’ve never been an un-involved father to my boys; I was there for late-night feedings, I changed my share of diapers, I’ve been awake all night for colds and flus before.

Nothing, however, can prepare you for single parenthood. And by comparison, i have it easier than most single parents. My kids are old enough to handle most things on their own, and even leave them alone for a couple hours when needed. Still, its not remotely easy.

Not taking away from you, at all. It IS hard, no matter the situation. If parenting isn’t hard, you’re not doing it right.

Darkbrador > ttyymmnn 02/11/2019 at 11:05

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+1 for the twins ... it makes you adapt to life with very little sleep.

So you say it don’t get any better when they grow up ? C”mon, man it’s only Monday morning and you decide to ruin the day ... sheeesh

vicali > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 11:12

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Yeah, no kidding with the update..

We get caught up in the -lost snowpants, broken toys, another fieldtrip, doesn’t like dinner, tv tantrum, late to bed, up for water- game as well.. Sometimes it’s hard and then you hear a story of lost kids and it instantly floors you.

It’s still hard, just not terrible.

ttyymmnn > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 11:24

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I couldn’t imagine twins, either. We planned on having two kids, but instead we got two more. 

ttyymmnn > Darkbrador 02/11/2019 at 11:26

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Sorry.

functionoverfashion > and 100 more 02/11/2019 at 12:14

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Man, I can’t really imagine... sorry. Definitely agree it should be hard or you’re probably not doing it right. I’m sure it’s hard to start letting them have more freedom and independence, even as much as you need it to happen.

It’s all worth it, right? It certainly seems so thus far. 

and 100 more > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 12:28

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No need to be sorry. Like i said, i have it easy - my kids are great, and they had a fantastic mother who gave them (and me) everything we needed to be okay. And I’ve only just had a tast e of this life, I’ve been doing this for not even two months.   That said, I have every respect for parents who do this from birth, either willingly or not. Getting thru those early years alone must be hell.

But again, I take nothing from parents, at all. It’s just hard, by design.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 12:29

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merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > functionoverfashion 02/11/2019 at 12:45

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Kids can be a lot of work, but in the end, I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’ve got 4, 6 and under. It’s a bit much at times, then other times, like last night while making a snowy run to Home Depot with my 2 year old boy in the backseat telling me to go faster and giggling as we’re doing sno-nuts in the empty parking lot, it’s all worth it. They are so cool. And after 3 boys, we’ve got a baby girl that’s been awesome so far. Good eater, sleeper and just all around happy baby. Can’t ask for much more.

And I’m sorry to hear about your friends loss. That’s just awful to hear and I can’t imagine... definitely gives perspective to it all.